"The Campus Girl"
critique essay
Vannah is 18 years old. She is gorgeous. A girl that can caught everyone’s attention. She is such a nice daughter to her parents. Her father is Mr.Angelo Ramirez, a tycoon businessman. Her mother is Mrs. Ramirez, a business woman she owns a restaurant named Cha’s Cussine. Even though her mother is busy with her restaurant , she make sure that she also does her duty as a mother. Vannah has two siblings named Innah and Rhian. Vannah and her sisters are studying in Saint Catherine University. And because Vannah is a beautiful and yet a gifted girl with talent, she has been nominated to be one of the candidates in the most waited beauty pageant in their university. “The University Campus Sweetheart”. Rikki, Vannah’s best friend is the one who nominated her in the pageant. But Vannah is not sure of joining in the contest. She keeps on comparing herself to the other girls who also joined the contest. Celine Villa, Claudent Munoz and Star Villamonte. These are also popular girls in their university and thet were one of the reasons why Vannah hesitated to join the contest. But still, Rikke tried her very best to convinced Vannah to join the contest. And at last , Rikki did it! She convinced Vannah to join the pageant. Vannah do has it all. Curvaceous body, beautiful face, natural blonde hair and specially brains. She is a threat to every girls who joined the pageant.
One day in their school library, Vannah is reading a book entitled “The Notebook”. And suddenly guy sit beside her. And this guy is Bret Jackson, the former president of Alpha Capha Omega. Bret is an American. And Vannah really don’t like Americans. She hates them. She thought that American people are boastful, do not know how to respect people an spoiled brat. But still, Vannah tried to be nice to Bret. Not that really nice, but just not to make negative impressions on her. Their conversation started.
“Hi! I’m Bret Allan Jackson. And you are?” the American guy said.
“ I’m Cheska Vannah Ramirez.” She said timidly.
“ Do you also love reading?” he ask.
“No , I’m just studying. Because for me this is a perfect place to study.” She said.
“You’re a fine arts student right?” Bret asked again.
“Yes, I’m second year student. Major in advertising. How about you?” Vannah asked.
“I’m an engineering student.” Bret answered.
Bret and Vannah had a short conversation. But in the end of their conversation, Vannah frankly told Bret that she really do not want Americans. She hates Americans because of her negative impressions in them. At the coffee shop, Celine, one of the candidate in the pageant where Vannah also joined, and Bret’s ex-girlfriend is waiting for Bret to came. Vannah is also there with Rikki having a break. But when Bret came in the coffee shop, instead of sitting beside Celine, he sit beside Vannah. Celine got very dismayed while Vannah got irritated. She told Bret to please stop following her. And Vannah walked out in the coffee shop together with Rikki. But Bret seems not to hear what Vannah said. One day, Bret decided to talk to Vannah. He wanted to help Vannah for her campaign in campus sweetheart. He sold tickets, he made tarpaulins and he also gave t-shirts to the students. He is sincere in his intention to Vannah. And when Celine knew about what Bret is doing, she quickly confronted Vannah.
“Hey you Miss Cheska Vannah Ramirez. Can you please stop following Bret! Are you obsess with him? I think you are! It’s obvious!” Celine said arrogantly.
“shut up! How dare you to say that! Excuse me I’m not that kind of girl. And for your information I hate Americans. And beside he’s your ex-boyfriend right? So how dare you to act like that? And it’s not my fault if you ex-boyfriend wanted to sold my tickets! Now can you please leave me alone?” Vannah said. She cannot control herself anymore. She just defended herself from Celine for accusing her such things. Bret and Vannah meet again. Bret pull Vannah inside the arts building at the maintenance room. She forced Vannah to talked to him. Vannah got irritated. She tried to go out but unexpectedly they were trapped! They cannot do anything. They just have no choice but to talk. After a long conversation, Vannah knew many things about Brett. He tells everything about his life. Same with Vannah she also tell something about herself. Then after the moment that they got to know more about each other , Vannah found out that Bret is such a nice guy. Her impressions about Bret change. And then they became friends. At the school theatre the pageant has been held. All were excited to whom will reign in the campus sweetheart. And at last! It is Vannah. She won in the contest. Her parents were so proud of her.
After a year, Vannah and Brett saw each other again in the coffee shop. Vannah gave thanks to Brett in helping her for the campaign. Bret asked her to have a dinner. Vannah did not ignore him at this time. At night, Brett goes to Ramirez’ residence to pick Vannah up. Bret wanted to have the permission of Mr.Ramirez, Vannah’s father for them to have a dinner. And Vannah’s father gave them a permission to go out. Brett saw Vannah wearing red dress and red stilletoes. He got attracted to Vannah. She is so beautiful. She is like a princess. At the restaurant, he prepared a romantic dinner for Vannah. While they are eating a romantic song is playing. Bret ordered ice cream for their dessert. While Vannah is eating the ice cream, she got shocked! She bit a ring. The Bret asked Vannah if she could be her girlfriend. Vannah finally said yes. They embraced each other very tight. And they watch firework forming “ I love you Vannah”.
The main character in the story is Cheska Vannah Ramirez. She is known as Vannah in their campus. She is the reigning Saint Cathyrine Campus Sweetheart. Vannah is a beautiful and yet a simple girl. She is a very loving daughter. She hates Americans, maybe because she thought Americans are boastful, do not know how to respect people and spoiled brat. If she only gave Brett a chance to get to know each other maybe they do not came to the point that she keeps on getting away with Bret.
Bret Allan Jackson, the secondary character in the story. An American and an engineering student. He also studied at the same school where Vannah is studying. Vannah has a negative impression on him. But the real Bret is such a nice guy. He will do everything just to prove that he is serious and sincere with his intention for Vannah.
Then Rikki, Vannah’s best friend. She is the one who convinced and nominated Vannah to be one of the candidates in campus sweetheart. All the time she accompanied Vannah in everything she does. Mr. Ramirez, Mrs. Ramirez, Innah and Rhian, the supportive and very loving family of Vannah. They also support Vannah all the time. Celine, the girl who accused Vannah such things that is definitely not true. He is Bret’s ex girlfriend. She is also one of the candidates in the campus sweetheart.
About the plot. At all begins when Vannah joined in the campus sweetheart beauty pageant in their university. At first she did not want it but she cannot do anything. Many students were asking her to join the contest. As she joined the pageant she met Bret Jackson.
When he met Vannah, it seems like he don’t want Vannah to get rid of her eyes. Bret Jackson really like her. But Vannah do not want him. Just because he is an American. Bret got challenged to Vannah. He tried his best to have a chance to talk to Vannah. And as day goes by, Bret succeeded. He forced Vannah to have a conversation with him. Bret had the chance to talk to her and Vannah get to know more about Bret.
The climax of the story is when Vannah won in the campus sweetheart and her parents were really proud of her. She is also very happy. And Brett is also happy for her. Vannah and Bret became friends. Bret invited Vannah to have a dinner date. Then he romantically proposed to Vannah to be his girlfriend.
The narrator is the one who is telling the story. There are three points of view in the story. First is when Vannah joined the campus sweetheart beauty pageant. Second is when she met Bret Jackson, the guy who admires her a lot and when she met Celine who accused her such things. And third, is when Vannah get to know more about Bret. They became friends then lovers.
The evidence that is in the story that is being told in particular point is when the story line is centered when Vannah joined the pageant. From the beginning up to the end o the story it only connects in the point of view wherein Vannah joined the contest.
The story maybe changes if Vannah did not join in the contest. If Vannah did not go for campus sweetheart definitely she would not be the reigning campus sweetheart in their university. If she did not join the campus sweetheart maybe she did not met Bret Jackson, the man who became her boyfriend. I think the author have this kind of view, for the readers especially for teenagers to relate on the romantic scenarios of the story.
As I read the story “Campus Girl”, I feel the same way like when I am reading romantic pocket books and novels. Sometimes the scenarios in the story makes me feel blush, touched and feel the same way like what the characters in the story felt. I can relate in some of the scenes like the act of trying to stay away from the person who admires me a lot, the act of getting to know more about each other, the act of proving to your loved ones that you are sincere with what you are feeling, being caressed by a guy and the feeling of being in love. I think the writer of the story has also its own love story because he/she is inspired in writing this kind of love story.
And as I analyze the story line of “Campus Girl”, there are some words that is not appropriate in the grammar that is used. Few words were wrong spelling. Other marks like period , comma and quotation marks are not placed properly. The dialogues of the characters must be clear. Sometimes I am confused because I don’t understand who is exactly speaking in a particular scene. For example, the character is speaks, supposedly what they are saying must be quoted by using quotation marks. But in the other side, the story “Campus Girl” is really a good story for teenagers. Just review it for other changes and it will be such a better romantic novel or story line.
I suggest to watch out for the usage of word in the grammars, for the correct spellings and for the marks that will be used and polish the paragraphing. I rate it with 85%.
critique essay
Vannah is 18 years old. She is gorgeous. A girl that can caught everyone’s attention. She is such a nice daughter to her parents. Her father is Mr.Angelo Ramirez, a tycoon businessman. Her mother is Mrs. Ramirez, a business woman she owns a restaurant named Cha’s Cussine. Even though her mother is busy with her restaurant , she make sure that she also does her duty as a mother. Vannah has two siblings named Innah and Rhian. Vannah and her sisters are studying in Saint Catherine University. And because Vannah is a beautiful and yet a gifted girl with talent, she has been nominated to be one of the candidates in the most waited beauty pageant in their university. “The University Campus Sweetheart”. Rikki, Vannah’s best friend is the one who nominated her in the pageant. But Vannah is not sure of joining in the contest. She keeps on comparing herself to the other girls who also joined the contest. Celine Villa, Claudent Munoz and Star Villamonte. These are also popular girls in their university and thet were one of the reasons why Vannah hesitated to join the contest. But still, Rikke tried her very best to convinced Vannah to join the contest. And at last , Rikki did it! She convinced Vannah to join the pageant. Vannah do has it all. Curvaceous body, beautiful face, natural blonde hair and specially brains. She is a threat to every girls who joined the pageant.
One day in their school library, Vannah is reading a book entitled “The Notebook”. And suddenly guy sit beside her. And this guy is Bret Jackson, the former president of Alpha Capha Omega. Bret is an American. And Vannah really don’t like Americans. She hates them. She thought that American people are boastful, do not know how to respect people an spoiled brat. But still, Vannah tried to be nice to Bret. Not that really nice, but just not to make negative impressions on her. Their conversation started.
“Hi! I’m Bret Allan Jackson. And you are?” the American guy said.
“ I’m Cheska Vannah Ramirez.” She said timidly.
“ Do you also love reading?” he ask.
“No , I’m just studying. Because for me this is a perfect place to study.” She said.
“You’re a fine arts student right?” Bret asked again.
“Yes, I’m second year student. Major in advertising. How about you?” Vannah asked.
“I’m an engineering student.” Bret answered.
Bret and Vannah had a short conversation. But in the end of their conversation, Vannah frankly told Bret that she really do not want Americans. She hates Americans because of her negative impressions in them. At the coffee shop, Celine, one of the candidate in the pageant where Vannah also joined, and Bret’s ex-girlfriend is waiting for Bret to came. Vannah is also there with Rikki having a break. But when Bret came in the coffee shop, instead of sitting beside Celine, he sit beside Vannah. Celine got very dismayed while Vannah got irritated. She told Bret to please stop following her. And Vannah walked out in the coffee shop together with Rikki. But Bret seems not to hear what Vannah said. One day, Bret decided to talk to Vannah. He wanted to help Vannah for her campaign in campus sweetheart. He sold tickets, he made tarpaulins and he also gave t-shirts to the students. He is sincere in his intention to Vannah. And when Celine knew about what Bret is doing, she quickly confronted Vannah.
“Hey you Miss Cheska Vannah Ramirez. Can you please stop following Bret! Are you obsess with him? I think you are! It’s obvious!” Celine said arrogantly.
“shut up! How dare you to say that! Excuse me I’m not that kind of girl. And for your information I hate Americans. And beside he’s your ex-boyfriend right? So how dare you to act like that? And it’s not my fault if you ex-boyfriend wanted to sold my tickets! Now can you please leave me alone?” Vannah said. She cannot control herself anymore. She just defended herself from Celine for accusing her such things. Bret and Vannah meet again. Bret pull Vannah inside the arts building at the maintenance room. She forced Vannah to talked to him. Vannah got irritated. She tried to go out but unexpectedly they were trapped! They cannot do anything. They just have no choice but to talk. After a long conversation, Vannah knew many things about Brett. He tells everything about his life. Same with Vannah she also tell something about herself. Then after the moment that they got to know more about each other , Vannah found out that Bret is such a nice guy. Her impressions about Bret change. And then they became friends. At the school theatre the pageant has been held. All were excited to whom will reign in the campus sweetheart. And at last! It is Vannah. She won in the contest. Her parents were so proud of her.
After a year, Vannah and Brett saw each other again in the coffee shop. Vannah gave thanks to Brett in helping her for the campaign. Bret asked her to have a dinner. Vannah did not ignore him at this time. At night, Brett goes to Ramirez’ residence to pick Vannah up. Bret wanted to have the permission of Mr.Ramirez, Vannah’s father for them to have a dinner. And Vannah’s father gave them a permission to go out. Brett saw Vannah wearing red dress and red stilletoes. He got attracted to Vannah. She is so beautiful. She is like a princess. At the restaurant, he prepared a romantic dinner for Vannah. While they are eating a romantic song is playing. Bret ordered ice cream for their dessert. While Vannah is eating the ice cream, she got shocked! She bit a ring. The Bret asked Vannah if she could be her girlfriend. Vannah finally said yes. They embraced each other very tight. And they watch firework forming “ I love you Vannah”.
The main character in the story is Cheska Vannah Ramirez. She is known as Vannah in their campus. She is the reigning Saint Cathyrine Campus Sweetheart. Vannah is a beautiful and yet a simple girl. She is a very loving daughter. She hates Americans, maybe because she thought Americans are boastful, do not know how to respect people and spoiled brat. If she only gave Brett a chance to get to know each other maybe they do not came to the point that she keeps on getting away with Bret.
Bret Allan Jackson, the secondary character in the story. An American and an engineering student. He also studied at the same school where Vannah is studying. Vannah has a negative impression on him. But the real Bret is such a nice guy. He will do everything just to prove that he is serious and sincere with his intention for Vannah.
Then Rikki, Vannah’s best friend. She is the one who convinced and nominated Vannah to be one of the candidates in campus sweetheart. All the time she accompanied Vannah in everything she does. Mr. Ramirez, Mrs. Ramirez, Innah and Rhian, the supportive and very loving family of Vannah. They also support Vannah all the time. Celine, the girl who accused Vannah such things that is definitely not true. He is Bret’s ex girlfriend. She is also one of the candidates in the campus sweetheart.
About the plot. At all begins when Vannah joined in the campus sweetheart beauty pageant in their university. At first she did not want it but she cannot do anything. Many students were asking her to join the contest. As she joined the pageant she met Bret Jackson.
When he met Vannah, it seems like he don’t want Vannah to get rid of her eyes. Bret Jackson really like her. But Vannah do not want him. Just because he is an American. Bret got challenged to Vannah. He tried his best to have a chance to talk to Vannah. And as day goes by, Bret succeeded. He forced Vannah to have a conversation with him. Bret had the chance to talk to her and Vannah get to know more about Bret.
The climax of the story is when Vannah won in the campus sweetheart and her parents were really proud of her. She is also very happy. And Brett is also happy for her. Vannah and Bret became friends. Bret invited Vannah to have a dinner date. Then he romantically proposed to Vannah to be his girlfriend.
The narrator is the one who is telling the story. There are three points of view in the story. First is when Vannah joined the campus sweetheart beauty pageant. Second is when she met Bret Jackson, the guy who admires her a lot and when she met Celine who accused her such things. And third, is when Vannah get to know more about Bret. They became friends then lovers.
The evidence that is in the story that is being told in particular point is when the story line is centered when Vannah joined the pageant. From the beginning up to the end o the story it only connects in the point of view wherein Vannah joined the contest.
The story maybe changes if Vannah did not join in the contest. If Vannah did not go for campus sweetheart definitely she would not be the reigning campus sweetheart in their university. If she did not join the campus sweetheart maybe she did not met Bret Jackson, the man who became her boyfriend. I think the author have this kind of view, for the readers especially for teenagers to relate on the romantic scenarios of the story.
As I read the story “Campus Girl”, I feel the same way like when I am reading romantic pocket books and novels. Sometimes the scenarios in the story makes me feel blush, touched and feel the same way like what the characters in the story felt. I can relate in some of the scenes like the act of trying to stay away from the person who admires me a lot, the act of getting to know more about each other, the act of proving to your loved ones that you are sincere with what you are feeling, being caressed by a guy and the feeling of being in love. I think the writer of the story has also its own love story because he/she is inspired in writing this kind of love story.
And as I analyze the story line of “Campus Girl”, there are some words that is not appropriate in the grammar that is used. Few words were wrong spelling. Other marks like period , comma and quotation marks are not placed properly. The dialogues of the characters must be clear. Sometimes I am confused because I don’t understand who is exactly speaking in a particular scene. For example, the character is speaks, supposedly what they are saying must be quoted by using quotation marks. But in the other side, the story “Campus Girl” is really a good story for teenagers. Just review it for other changes and it will be such a better romantic novel or story line.
I suggest to watch out for the usage of word in the grammars, for the correct spellings and for the marks that will be used and polish the paragraphing. I rate it with 85%.