The short story entitled “Forbidden Love” is all about a married woman who fell in love with a boy named Henry that has happened to be her classmate when she went back to school. A much prohibited love affair was developed which is a bad thing because Jelyn the main character of the story, already have her own family to consider and to give love and respect. Here’s the summary of the said story.
The very first day of classes, Jelyn and Nicko a couple together with their daughter Faith, was busy preparing to go to school. Taking a bath ate their breakfast and brushed their teeth. After these things have done by the two, Jelyn went to her school with a bright smile on her face. She was so excited and in high spirits to go back to school. She was geared up for coming back in class. While searching for the college registrar she saw a two gentleman, Henry and Jay and asked who the college registrar of the school is, and the two replied, “Mr. Rodriguez”. After she enrolled, her class is 2:00 pm, a social philosophy class, where the two gentlemen she met is her classmate. Jelyn was very full of zip in participating in the class. Henry was so stunned in Jelyn and he got a special feeling on her. The moment passed by, and their class was dismissed. Henry and jay invited Jelyn to spend time with them. Jelyn and Henry had a good interaction with each other and resulted to a special relationship between them. Days passed and Henry decided to court Jelyn. And Jelyn easily said “YES” to Henry without thinking about her own family. They had a very strong relationship that even their classes they are not able to attend anymore just because they always wanted to have time to spend with each other. Jelyn forgot that she has already her own family. Two weeks relationship with Henry was full of sweetness. When she went home, she does her chores and after all that things she went to sleep. Even in her sleep, Henry is in her dreams. Their precious moments together. That night Nicko is still awake, and he wondered why Jelyn is smiling while sleeping. He took Jelyn’s phone and read all the messages from Henry. Jelyn spoken, Henry, Henry, Henry. And Nicko started to wake Jelyn. He confronted Jelyn about Henry. Nicko was so angry. Nicko questioned her if she have a affair with Henry, Jelyn said she was in love with Henry and she don’t need Nicko at all. Nicko said many things to Jelyn that wakes her mind and she started to shed tears. After the conversation she left and went to her confidant Mae to ask for an advise and her best friend advised her to reconcile with Nicko and she have to leave Henry. The next day she attended her class and she broke up with Henry without any explanation at all. That’s the summary of the story.
The main character of the story is Jelyn. She is the center of the story because she is the one who brings up the conflict to the story. The dominant impression created by the character is being a very easy to fall on things without even thinking what is going to be the result of the certain action or without thinking what would be the outcome of the committed actions.
Let’s go to the secondary characters. They are Nicko, Faith, Henry, Jay,Mae and Mr. Rodriguez. Nicko is Jelyn’s partner, Faith is their daughter. Henry happened to be Jelyn’s short time “Boyfriend”, Jay is Jelyn’s classmate and friend of Henry. Mae best friend of Jelyn, and the last one is Mr.Rodriguez the college registrar. The secondary characters supported the main one in the flow of the story.
I think the dialogues are too short; it is done easily by the narrator. But for me, there are some points that it represents the characters personalities. By speaking you can barely see the personality of the one character who is talking, the way you imagine how they deliver it. When it comes to the character involvement to the conflict, I think in this short story the character involve with both interior and exterior conflict, and the other characters are involved too, in a way that Jelyn had a conflict to Nicko, that results to their misunderstanding and argument. For the interior conflict, I do believe that Jelyn’s tried to listen to her conscience because she was the one who commit mistakes from the very beginning. She uses her mind to resolve the conflict that she made.
For the plot of the story, I observed that the information is not enough stated in the exposition. She didn’t mention about anything, or about the appearance or characteristics of the setting and especially the major and secondary characters of the short story. The background information is not sufficient. For me, this short story is very lack of in sequence that is needed for the character and the setting.
The incident begins the movement of the plot when Jelyn and Henry started to mingle well with each other and when they started to have their special feelings toward to each other. The rising action of the story when Nicko was able to know what is Jelyn’s secret, the illicit relationship of Jelyn and Henry which leads to an misunderstanding of the couple and they have an argument and quarrel about that, hard feelings were encountered.
The climax of the story is when Nicko read all the sweet messages of Henry to Jelyn and when Jelyn started to voiced Henry’s name while sleeping. The event comes into a hard conflict for the characters, the said inconsistency resolve by Jelyn. She realizes that her relation to Henry was a big mistake of her and a foolishness and selfishness of her. So she decided to end it up, she chose and prefer to have a happy life with her own family. That she never wanted to shatter her family just because of her stupidity.
The omniscient third person is the one who narrates the story. The narrator who is not in the story tells the story through the use of “she” or “he”. The narrator is the one who tells the character thoughts. The evidence of this particular point of view is; “An unexplainable feeling with confusing thoughts are being felt and come on to his mind.” I think that’s it.
It is easier for the author to choose this point of view because it is much uncomplicated to apply and manage while the story is continuously flowing on the authors own will. It is more reliable narrating the character thoughts in a way that the author constantly can write the sequence of events that he or she wanted to tell in the story that she made.
For my concluding remarks, to be honest and true, I’m not that happy and satisfied when I read Heidi’s short story. I can say that I’m a little bit sad about the flow of the story. I expecting too much of her work, the short story that she made was very short. There is lacking of dialogues and scenes that I wanted to read. The title Forbidden love is so interesting for me, but I’m disappointed because she just doesn’t justify her title. There are so many scenes that she must include to the story but suddenly she didn’t do it. I’m not pleased on her work. The happenings seem very fast. That is on my own observation as a reader. I do expecting too much of her. She is good in writing and she is quite smart. Maybe some information of her story is not well prepared. I know in myself I’m not that good in writing also, but we can always try our best to do the things with determination and perseverance. Heidi’s short story is an attention-grabbing; she can do better than this. She made a shortcut, the story was too fast and it ended lack of twists and excitement for me as a reader. It does not serve some satisfaction to me. I think it is an n open ended story, the use of proper words; there are some words that I can’t clearly appreciate. Sentence structure is not well organized, I mean some are not proper in place the ideas is lacking of information that is needed. The grammars also, there are some mistakes and I don’t recognize some of her sentences and it’s kind of hard for me to analyze the paragraphs that she made. I felt discontented on her short story. My rate to her short story is 85%; she can do much better, if she only focuses on what she is doing. Be inspired Heidi in everything that you want to do especially in studying. I can only say that we can always try our best to be successful in our life. Try to be more responsible student. Improve more you ability in writing. Thanks for your work; it is my pleasure to be your critic. God bless you more.
The very first day of classes, Jelyn and Nicko a couple together with their daughter Faith, was busy preparing to go to school. Taking a bath ate their breakfast and brushed their teeth. After these things have done by the two, Jelyn went to her school with a bright smile on her face. She was so excited and in high spirits to go back to school. She was geared up for coming back in class. While searching for the college registrar she saw a two gentleman, Henry and Jay and asked who the college registrar of the school is, and the two replied, “Mr. Rodriguez”. After she enrolled, her class is 2:00 pm, a social philosophy class, where the two gentlemen she met is her classmate. Jelyn was very full of zip in participating in the class. Henry was so stunned in Jelyn and he got a special feeling on her. The moment passed by, and their class was dismissed. Henry and jay invited Jelyn to spend time with them. Jelyn and Henry had a good interaction with each other and resulted to a special relationship between them. Days passed and Henry decided to court Jelyn. And Jelyn easily said “YES” to Henry without thinking about her own family. They had a very strong relationship that even their classes they are not able to attend anymore just because they always wanted to have time to spend with each other. Jelyn forgot that she has already her own family. Two weeks relationship with Henry was full of sweetness. When she went home, she does her chores and after all that things she went to sleep. Even in her sleep, Henry is in her dreams. Their precious moments together. That night Nicko is still awake, and he wondered why Jelyn is smiling while sleeping. He took Jelyn’s phone and read all the messages from Henry. Jelyn spoken, Henry, Henry, Henry. And Nicko started to wake Jelyn. He confronted Jelyn about Henry. Nicko was so angry. Nicko questioned her if she have a affair with Henry, Jelyn said she was in love with Henry and she don’t need Nicko at all. Nicko said many things to Jelyn that wakes her mind and she started to shed tears. After the conversation she left and went to her confidant Mae to ask for an advise and her best friend advised her to reconcile with Nicko and she have to leave Henry. The next day she attended her class and she broke up with Henry without any explanation at all. That’s the summary of the story.
The main character of the story is Jelyn. She is the center of the story because she is the one who brings up the conflict to the story. The dominant impression created by the character is being a very easy to fall on things without even thinking what is going to be the result of the certain action or without thinking what would be the outcome of the committed actions.
Let’s go to the secondary characters. They are Nicko, Faith, Henry, Jay,Mae and Mr. Rodriguez. Nicko is Jelyn’s partner, Faith is their daughter. Henry happened to be Jelyn’s short time “Boyfriend”, Jay is Jelyn’s classmate and friend of Henry. Mae best friend of Jelyn, and the last one is Mr.Rodriguez the college registrar. The secondary characters supported the main one in the flow of the story.
I think the dialogues are too short; it is done easily by the narrator. But for me, there are some points that it represents the characters personalities. By speaking you can barely see the personality of the one character who is talking, the way you imagine how they deliver it. When it comes to the character involvement to the conflict, I think in this short story the character involve with both interior and exterior conflict, and the other characters are involved too, in a way that Jelyn had a conflict to Nicko, that results to their misunderstanding and argument. For the interior conflict, I do believe that Jelyn’s tried to listen to her conscience because she was the one who commit mistakes from the very beginning. She uses her mind to resolve the conflict that she made.
For the plot of the story, I observed that the information is not enough stated in the exposition. She didn’t mention about anything, or about the appearance or characteristics of the setting and especially the major and secondary characters of the short story. The background information is not sufficient. For me, this short story is very lack of in sequence that is needed for the character and the setting.
The incident begins the movement of the plot when Jelyn and Henry started to mingle well with each other and when they started to have their special feelings toward to each other. The rising action of the story when Nicko was able to know what is Jelyn’s secret, the illicit relationship of Jelyn and Henry which leads to an misunderstanding of the couple and they have an argument and quarrel about that, hard feelings were encountered.
The climax of the story is when Nicko read all the sweet messages of Henry to Jelyn and when Jelyn started to voiced Henry’s name while sleeping. The event comes into a hard conflict for the characters, the said inconsistency resolve by Jelyn. She realizes that her relation to Henry was a big mistake of her and a foolishness and selfishness of her. So she decided to end it up, she chose and prefer to have a happy life with her own family. That she never wanted to shatter her family just because of her stupidity.
The omniscient third person is the one who narrates the story. The narrator who is not in the story tells the story through the use of “she” or “he”. The narrator is the one who tells the character thoughts. The evidence of this particular point of view is; “An unexplainable feeling with confusing thoughts are being felt and come on to his mind.” I think that’s it.
It is easier for the author to choose this point of view because it is much uncomplicated to apply and manage while the story is continuously flowing on the authors own will. It is more reliable narrating the character thoughts in a way that the author constantly can write the sequence of events that he or she wanted to tell in the story that she made.
For my concluding remarks, to be honest and true, I’m not that happy and satisfied when I read Heidi’s short story. I can say that I’m a little bit sad about the flow of the story. I expecting too much of her work, the short story that she made was very short. There is lacking of dialogues and scenes that I wanted to read. The title Forbidden love is so interesting for me, but I’m disappointed because she just doesn’t justify her title. There are so many scenes that she must include to the story but suddenly she didn’t do it. I’m not pleased on her work. The happenings seem very fast. That is on my own observation as a reader. I do expecting too much of her. She is good in writing and she is quite smart. Maybe some information of her story is not well prepared. I know in myself I’m not that good in writing also, but we can always try our best to do the things with determination and perseverance. Heidi’s short story is an attention-grabbing; she can do better than this. She made a shortcut, the story was too fast and it ended lack of twists and excitement for me as a reader. It does not serve some satisfaction to me. I think it is an n open ended story, the use of proper words; there are some words that I can’t clearly appreciate. Sentence structure is not well organized, I mean some are not proper in place the ideas is lacking of information that is needed. The grammars also, there are some mistakes and I don’t recognize some of her sentences and it’s kind of hard for me to analyze the paragraphs that she made. I felt discontented on her short story. My rate to her short story is 85%; she can do much better, if she only focuses on what she is doing. Be inspired Heidi in everything that you want to do especially in studying. I can only say that we can always try our best to be successful in our life. Try to be more responsible student. Improve more you ability in writing. Thanks for your work; it is my pleasure to be your critic. God bless you more.